What to Expect When Grief Strikes

  • Grieving requires physical and emotional energy.  She will likely be exhausted.
  • The bereaved may be disorganized and struggle with daily functions and activities.
  • She may talk incessantly about the deceased.
  • She may be easily distracted and unable to concentrate.

How to Help a Grieving Friend

  • Help with physical and practical needs in the early stages — grocery shopping, driving kids to events, meals, mowing the lawn, doing laundry, cleaning the house, etc.   Avoid asking, “What can I do to help?”  She may not be able to respond or willing to ask for help.  Instead, ask, “Which would be more helpful, x or y?”  Or, “Is tomorrow a good day for me to come vacuum, etc.?”  Anticipate her needs, but be respectful.
  • Let her talk about her child, her grief, etc.
  • Give her time and space. Don’t expect that her life will be “back to normal” anytime soon.
  • Encourage her to see a grief counselor.
  • Send notes regularly.  Remember special dates, like birthdays, holidays, and the anniversary of the death.  Some people refer to this as a “heaven date.”
  • Share memories you have of the loved one.
  • Mention the loved one’s name.
  • Don’t try to fix it. Just be willing to listen.
  • Don’t share your trivial struggles with her.
  • Offer opportunities to get out and do something — dinner, a walk, a movie — she needs a break from her grief.

Prayer Calendar

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Finding Hope

  • link to blog posts

Remembering a Loved One:

  • Name a star in memory of the person.
  • Sponsor a day on local radio.
  • Purchase a memorial brick at a local park or other available location.
  • Start a kindness project — ask friends to do a random act of kindness in memory of your loved one.
  • Organize a butterfly or balloon release on a special date.
  • Create a special piece of jewelry or artwork.
  • Give gifts to needy children on your loved one’s birthday.

Resources for Infant/Child Loss:

  • M.I.S.S Foundation ( Find a local support group and/or resources
  • offers print resources
  • I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford
  • Safe in the Arms of God by John MacArthur
  • Heaven (and Heaven for Kids) by Randy Alcorn


Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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