I am fascinated by the beauty and the details at the beach. All of the shells and evidence of sea creatures intrigue me.  How can each beach be so different, ever changing, yet staying the same– the same beauty, the same elements, the same praise worthy creation of God?

I discovered a new delight on my trip this week.  Sharks’ teeth!  I have found a stray tooth or two over the years, but this particular beach boasts of them in abundance.  I found one that reminded me of this fact, and so, the search begin.  At first, I didn’t find anymore.  But one night while researching the post-poison-ivy-hives that I had developed (another post for another day), I decided to take a break and see if there were any special techniques for finding these shiny black gems in the sand. And, of course, there were blogs and web sites that offered tips and strategies.  

With only 30 minutes until sunset, I was armed with new info and went tearing for the beach.  I found 5 of them in 45 minutes…yes, it had gotten dark and my dear husband was using the light in his cell phone to support my new obsession.  Calling it quits on our last night of the trip, I knew I had only one last chance to search. I checked the tide schedules and realized I would be getting up much earlier than I wanted the next morning. But, I was not disappointed. The beauty of the ocean as the sun is still rising and the quiet lapping of the waves would have been enough.  Intoxicating, actually. But, I also found eleven more of those little black beauties in less than an hour.  Each one involved a process of seeking, celebrating, and thanking God for the beauty of His creation all while living in the moment.  I was completely focused.

The cycle of seeking, celebrating, and thanking was what made it so enjoyable to focus. And,so, in a season of life where I have been struggling to live in the moment and focus, I am feasting on this important lesson.  I will see Him more clearly when I seek, celebrate, and thank Him with the same focus and intensity as I did searching for the shark’s teeth.   All else fades into the background when I know what I am looking for.

I pray that you see God’s beauty today as you focus on seeking, celebrating, and thanking Him for all His goodness.

It was a safe audience: pastors, chaplains and lay ministry people. Yet suddenly, I didn’t know what to say about my grief. There were plenty of hard things I experienced and advice I could give to people working with a grieving a mother. But nothing seemed adequate. Or appropriate. Or comfortable. Nothing felt right.

 What is wrong with me? I uttered audibly. I don’t get it. I’ve shared my story a million times. I feel like I could do it in my sleep, but I can’t find the words. I shared my dilemma with my husband. And finally, as I was talking, I was able to name my struggle.

I’d been asked to share about my story as it pertained to grief. That essentially highlights my daughter’s death. And yes, she died, but when I think of Ashlynn, I don’t think of her death. I think of life. Her life. We cherished her life. We celebrated her life. And yes, we experienced her death but that’s not the part I hold onto. I focus on what she added to our lives not the vacancy that drove my grief.

Finally it made sense why I was wrestling.

And so, I took another step forward in my grief as I processed my thoughts. I was intrigued that there are still things to consider and work out related to my grief. And I was thankful for the new discovery about her life. As time passes, I have less frequent thoughts of her and so I always welcome the opportunity to think and feel deeply about her. Until the day I can wrap my arms around her again, I’ll grasp the glimpses of her life that come my way.

The real meaning of the cross.

Not a symbol on my child’s Easter craft or stained glass window. Not earrings adorning my daughter’s ears or a gold token around someone’s neck.

Sadly, I don’t consider it often enough. Sure, I thank God for the gift of salvation. I thank Him for the hope of eternity and the blessings of life here and now. But it’s not often that I consider the real sacrifice. The real pain. The real gift.

I struggle to comprehend the depths of His love for me. I know I’m not deserving. I know that my sin helped nail Him to the cross. It’s too much to think about and so I don’t. And so, I miss the blessing of Easter the rest of the year. How sad! I soak it in for only a short time and then get back to the lackluster living of schedules and to-do lists.

I suspect that you may struggle with the same. We give God a nod each morning and then run on with our day. How differently would our lives look if we lived as each day was Easter? Would we think differently? Would we act differently? What if we celebrated the power of the resurrection every day?

Think about the celebration, the hope, the awe, the wonder, and yes, the power. I’m needing some of that today. How about you? Will you join me in celebrating Easter again today? And tomorrow? And the day after? I pray that you will.

And so I asked, “How much do you want for this old chandelier?”

To my delight, she replied, “Two dollars.”  And the deal was done.

I returned home with my find and began the process of restoration.  I cleaned. I painted. I adorned. And it sparkled.  No one would ever know that just a few hours earlier it was a discarded light I’d found laying on the ground at a yard sale.

I beamed as I beheld my new treasure. And the thought quickly occurred of how we are God’s treasure.  He sees our potential, not our current state.  He cleans and restores.  He finds us hurting and brings healing. He finds us completely undone and offers redemption. He finds us tattered and disheveled and reveals beauty and hope. 

Whatever your state today, know that you are treasured by God. He loves us. Let’s invite Him to bring restoration to every area of our lives so that others see His transforming hand at work in us.

Ironically, or not, two special things happened to me that day.  And I give God thanks.

I challenged others to join me in doing random acts of kindness to honor a mom or remember a child on that day.  Unexpectedly, I was the recipient of such an act.  A distant relative, who knew nothing of my challenge or the date, sent me a blanket she’d crafted with squares made to symbolize each of my children, including my deceased daughter Ashlynn.   It arrived on the very day – the day of remembrance. The gift was a complete surprise and I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.

There were also a series of unexpected events that resulted in the opportunity for me share Ashlynn’s life with a group of ladies in Bible study on the very same day.  And it wasn’t just a chance to talk about my daughter, it was a time for me to share ways that God has taught me about His love through her life and the value that each life holds, no matter how long or short.  Again, I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude.

I’m not sure why God chose to encourage me on that specific day in two touching ways, but I’m convinced that it was His doing and timing.  I’m thankful for the reminder that He sees us each day and always knows what’s going on in our lives, down to the very day and moment.  I pray that you sense God’s presence and love today. Blessings!

Sue began having problems with extreme anxiety and panic attacks.  It took a while for the doctors to determine exactly what the problem was, but they finally determined it was uncontrollable anxiety.  She took some meds and eventually the problems subsided.  But, nearly one year later the symptoms returned with a vengeance.  She was having a full-blown panic attack practically every day, and it was interfering with everything she tried to do.  She started going to a counselor who was able to help her manage the symptoms, but they weren’t really able to determine what was causing them.  She started on some new medication with much success and is doing better.  Now if a panic attack starts to develop she can intervene before it totally engulfs her.

Shortly after the anxiety started again, she began a Bible study at work – Beth Moore’s study of Daniel.  One of the things she learned is that through every “trial” there are 3 ways that they could be resolved:  (1) God will totally deliver us from the trial – we won’t have to endure it; (2) we will become closer to God by having gone through it; or (3) we will be delivered into God’s arms as a result of it. She pondered these thoughts in context of her current trial, uncertain what the result would be.

While she didn’t have immediate clarity, she would soon sense God’s perspective in her circumstances.

The woman who cleans her house had been injured in a car accident.  Upon her recovery and return, Sue asked how she was doing.  The woman burst into tears while she explained how anxious she had become and how she felt like it was showing weakness. She felt she needed to just get over it, but she was just floundering at what to do.  Through the counseling Sue had received and from the books she’d read, she was able to share with her that anxiety is a real illness and needs to be treated just like any other illness.  Sue encouraged her and pointed her in the right direction.

As she reflected on the sequence of events, she experienced a “light bulb” moment. The thought occured that maybe the reason she’s had to endure this problem is so she can be a help to others who might be experiencing the same thing.  Her thoughts about anxiety have certainly changed and she realizes from experience that it is beyond her control. 

Instead of looking at her issues as a burden, she’s decided to look at them from the standpoint of how God will use her circumstances and draw her closer to Him in the process. She’s learning to depend on Him more and has gained understanding and empathy for others who have similar problems.

May the following verse ring true in each of our lives.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Cor 1:3-4

Special thanks to Sue for sharing her story.  My prayer is that others are encouraged and that we always remember to pray for those around us, as we never know what they may be experiencing.

When we returned home, we visited the fair as promised. And the search for the photo competition began.  We found the building. We found the general viewing area.  We then found that the photos didn’t seem to be arranged in any particular order.  So, we began searching walls and walls of photos for her five.

With great delight, she discovered that all five had placed in various categories.  She won three 1^st place ribbons and two 2^nd place ribbons.  She was ecstatic and beamed with delight. The day at the fair was far more than she’d imagined and she skipped and smiled her way through the remainder of the day.

This scene describes my walk with Christ and maybe yours.  In the beginning, I accepted and loved Jesus but most of my knowledge was based on what others told me.  I was taught on Sunday mornings or in mission programs. I’d hear someone share their testimony and think, “Wow, I wish I knew God in that kind of way.” The things others reported seemed remarkable, yet, I hadn’t had those experiences.

Eventually, I started reading my Bible, engaged in Bible study and actively pursued Him. And, not surprisingly, I came to know Him in a whole new way.  Be seeing for myself, instead of relying on the report of others, I’ve had amazing opportunities for my faith to grow and come to trust Jesus in a deeper, more personal way. 

My prayer for each of us is that we see for ourselves.  God is real and relevant and wants a relationship with each of us, personally. And, the journey with Him is better than anything we can imagine.

Niagara Falls

As a kid, I always loved the Hidden Pictures game that was printed in the newspaper or Highlights magazine.  I’m not sure what was most alluring – the challenge of finding all the items or the necessity of paying attention to the many details and looking at the picture from various perspectives.

And so, in honor of my favorite childhood game, I invite you to play along with me.  Humor me, if you will.

 I’m taking some creative liberties with the concept, but I want you to look at the picture in this post and find all the ways you see glimpses of God.  It happens to be a picture from a recent trip to Niagara Falls.  While there, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of creation.  Yet, so often in life we don’t slow down to appreciate or notice some of God’s most precious gifts.  So, take a look around…linger… look, but realize that the picture doesn’t do the actual scene justice.  In what ways do you see evidence of our loving Creator? Some are obvious and some are not.  I encourage you to consider the possibilities.  And, just for fun, feel free to tell me what you find. 

Happy hunting!

I didn’t know I was pretending.  I thought I was trusting Him.

But then, I started to notice a few things — mainly that I wasn’t sleeping well.  I noticed only because I was feeling tired and easily offended.  I cried the other day because I was confronted by someone telling me it caused a problem when my kids put their snack wrappers in a trash can instead of carrying it with us when we left the building.  (That in itself is a story for another day, but certainly not worthy of tears. I should have celebrated that my kids put their trash in the trash can!) 

Nonetheless, the tears started.  And once they started, I couldn’t hold them back.  It was like trying to climb back up a waterslide after someone had already given me a push.  And while the tears were more of a trickle than a gush, I couldn’t stop them.  I tried everything to make them stop.  To make matters worse, I had just entered a meeting with about 30 other women.  And of course, the room was set up where many could see me. Fortunately, we start the meeting with a quiet, reflective time of mediation while worship music played followed by praise through prayer.  Everyone’s eyes were closed.

The music calmed my emotions. And then the spontaneous prayers began:

“Your grace is sufficient.”

“Thank you that you invite us to cast our cares on You.”

“Your provisions always meet our needs.”

“Thank you that nothing is too hard for You.”

These were healing words spoken by others in the room. They spoke as if they knew what I needed to hear in that moment. They were reminders of God’s presence and calmed my soul. My tears weren’t really about the fact that someone complained about my kids’ trash. They were actually a culmination of my worry and uncertainty.  They were a sign of my lack of trust in a faithful God.

And so today, with a thankful heart, I pray “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

What are you struggling to believe about God?  Can we pray for each other?

Dear Father,

Help my sweet friend in her unbelief.  Fill her with your love and show her your faithfulness in each day.  Strengthen her and encourage her, that she my come to know you in a deeper way.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen