Connected
I can no longer touch her. I can no longer hear her sweet cry. I can only see pictures of her. Oh, how I long for my precious baby Ashlynn. My time with her was woefully short. And so, I pray that God will help me keep her memory alive. And He does!
Just last week, it happened during the worship service at church. I attend the contemporary service so the music is typically rockin’ and hip (for church music), not traditional. However, that particular day, a simple song from my childhood appeared. It happened to be a song that I now sing to my children. I didn’t start singing this song to them until my son was born. But even now it calms him if he’s upset.
The lyrics and music are pure and worshipful. It goes like this: “I love you Lord; And I lift my voice; To worship you; Oh my soul, rejoice; Take joy my King; In what you hear; May it be a sweet, sweet sound; In Your ear.”
Again, it was extremely unusual for this song to be sung during the service. I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard it sung during a worship service at church. It’s a song that I associate with summer camp. But as I was standing there singing, I was overcome with emotion. It occurred to me that I was worshipping God in harmony with Ashlynn. I was very aware at that moment that she was in the presence of God worshipping Him while I was standing there doing the very same. She’s there, in heaven, and I’m here. We both worship the same God. We’re both in God’s presence. We’re still connected. And how ironic, that it happens through a song that I sing to my other children during the stillness of night?
I am thankful for that special moment to feel connected to Ashlynn. I know that one day we’ll be reunited for eternity. In the meantime, I will continue to praise and worship God with all my heart (and know that she’s doing the same).
Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise: his greatness no one can fathom. Psalm 145:3
I have had the same feeling of when I worship I am closest to my son, Andrew, who went to be with the Lord Dec. 15, 2009. At 12, he was diagnosed with the most aggressive type of brain cancer. Within 4 months, and after 4 brain surgeries, he passed from this side of Eternity to the other side.
I picture him worshipping in the presence of the Lord as I do the same.
I have never heard anyone else who has lost a child share this same feeling.
Wow Melanie! Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry for your loss but thankful that you know our amazing God. Keep on singing His praises. And I pray that you have many more moments of connectedness with Andrew. Hugs to you.