My memory fades. Yet, I desperately want to keep the memory of my daughter, Ashlynn, alive. Therefore, I often pray that God will help me – specifically, I ask Him to give me new insights or perspective on the memories I have. Her life was so short and I can’t create new memories, but I can certainly be reminded of them and even see them in a different light. So I ask… and then watch and wait expectantly.
And He answers me!
It always delights me, inspires gratitude, and most often leaves me speechless with my jaw dropped in wonder and awe. This time was no exception.
As I was preparing for a class I was teaching, I found myself digging through the book of Exodus. I became excited about what I was studying and learning about the deliverance of the Israelites. And then, I stumbled upon a commentary by Ray Stedman. He said, “When God wants to change history, he doesn’t start with a battle, he starts with a baby.” He was specifically talking about Moses, but I couldn’t help to also think about Jesus who arrived as a baby to save us.
And then my thoughts shifted again… Ashlynn! My sweet baby girl changed history. God used her precious life to change me. Perhaps she didn’t change history for the world, but she changed history for me and my family for generations to come. I was living a fearful and ineffective life before God brought her to me. I wasn’t truly living life; I simply existed as I was pushed around by emotions and worldly influences. She was my wake up call to start living. It’s ironic that I learned how to live through her life and death.
God taught me about His joy through her. He taught me about His love… about His strength… about His comfort… about His grace… about His mercy… about His sacrifice… about His power… about His peace… all through my daughter’s life! She was a petite 4 pounds 10 oz and lived only 2 ½ short days. Yet, God taught me a lifetime of lessons through her.
Praise God that He starts with a baby when He wants to change history!
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD, my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:11-12